All right, time for that traditional blog vent

I AM SO SICK OF THIS CRAP!!! Someone get this damn baby out of me NOW. Don't fricking tell me I don't have long left, or I'll make it, or I'll get by, or it'll be fine. Just reach up and rip her the hell out of me!!

I am sick and tired of limping around like a deranged monkey. I'm tired of being able to FEEL that all the bones in my right leg are totally out of socket and rubbing all over hell and not being able to do anything about it. I'm sick of having to ask Travis, or the ladies at work to do EVERYTHING for me. I can't even go down the damn stairs to get my own donut. I have to eat lunch alone in the conference room around the corner because I can't make it to the staff room anymore. I'm tired of sitting down in a chair or on the toilet and wondering if I am going to be able to get back up. I'm tired of taking a shower and worrying my leg will give out under me. Come to think of it, I'm tired of wondering if the next step I take will be the one where everything pops out for good. I'm tired of getting stared at if I do walk in public.

I want to be able to go SHOPPING for groceries if I want. I want to be able to take in a deep breath and not yelp because it hurts all the way down to my foot. I'm sick and tired of crying every other night because I'm in so much pain and so frustrated. I'm tired of having to grab on to everything and everyone just to stay upright.

I've taken enough Tylenol to destroy the liver of a small bull elephant. I am officially more excited to just not have to deal with this shit anymore than I am to hold my baby. I seriously contemplate beating up old ladies to take their walkers or their rascals. I have to physically lift up my leg and move it half the time to get it where I need it to go, which makes driving out of the question or very dangerous.

My blood pressure is up because of the stress on my body, which in turn could be affecting the other marfans elements that we've been monitoring. I KNOW the stress is taking a toll on the baby, because if it's this bad for me, it has to be bad for her. AND NONE OF MY DAMN DOCTORS CARE!! Apparenly being this immobile is NORMAL. Apparently having bones not in their sockets and not being able to do a god damn thing for myself is to be expected and there's nothing they will do.

I AM SO OVER THIS. Everybody better enjoy this baby, because it'll be the only one we have. I want my damn life back.